Conversations We All Should Have

     ABOUT THE PROGRAM

 

Avoid aspects of your life that need improving and eventually you

will slow down or block your progress  

 

    Every program or course with 'Conversations We All Should Have' is designed to improve our ability to have conversations about specific topics. The obvious advantages are better family and individual relationships and cooperation. Through discussion will increase our knowledge and skills in the areas we need to improve. The workbooks offer methodology and practice for improving the underlying supportive skills of patience, optimism, emotional control, self esteem and self regulation. These skills allow for the development of the underlying supportive skills of success and happiness.

 

                           

 

           BENEFITS

  • Increased Patience

  • Improved Self Esteem

  • Increased Optimism

  • Emotional Control 

  • Improved Self Regulation             

  • Better Goal Development

  • Better Coping Skills

  • Improved Relationship

  • Improved Happiness

 

The root of all problems are based in a lack of, or incorrect:

 

  • Knowledge and skill

  • Methodology for skill development / practice, Realization of the need to improve through formal intentional learning

  • Belief in self, self efficacy

  • Support

 

A lack of proper knowledge, support, skill or belief leads to the following:

 

  • Difficulty setting and reaching goals (diet, school, exercise, work, relationships, project, etc.)

  • An inability to recognize or acknowledge weaknesses and improve them

  • Emotional immaturity, Difficulty understanding emotions and how to use them properly

  • Difficulty or failure to move forward and grow

 

“A person’s greatest knowledge is knowing their weakness; a person’s greatest strength comes from improving that weaknesses.”

 

 

WHO THE BOOK AND PROGRAM IS FOR

 

  • For people and families that can see the need for formal intentional learning of the specific knowledge and skills that allow success and well-being. Not just saying to yourself or your kids you need to set goals, or you need to have discipline and leave it at that, but actually learn and teach how to set goal's and enhance patience, optimism, emotional control and self regulation.

  • If you have ever had or are having difficulty with some aspect of your life, have ever fallen and struggled with frustration, anxiety, depression, anger, fear or confusion or want to be better prepared for these inevitabilities in the future.

  • Anyone that simple believes and wants to grow as a person. If you want to learn more about yourself, be a better person, parent, spouse or friend.

  • Anyone that wants to be prepared for obstacles in the future. Is smart enough to realize that everyone has challenges and wants to be better prepared.

  • Anyone who has struggled to make changes in their lives.

  • Anyone smart enough to not to stand under a tree in a thunder storm and is smarter than a rock.

 

 

WE ALL HAVE A NEED TO IMPROVE SOMETHING 

                           

  • Recognize the need to improve something but lack a method for doing so

  • Indecision, Overcome procrastination / Move forward / Get unstuck

  • Set goals / Peruse your dreams

  • Get in shape / Lose weight

  • Improve Emotional maturity / Understanding emotions (anger, fear and guilt) as the tools that they are instead of acting with over reactiveness

  • Improve self-discipline/control

  • Improve relationship, family / personal

  • Improving coping skills / reduce stress / reduce anxiety / reduce depression

  • Verify self-value / improve self-esteem

  • Need support

  • Change a life style, attitude or career

  • Learn new skill / gain more knowledge / need to practice something

  • New to a career or situation and need guidance

  • Intrinsic need to improve, desire to improve as a person

  • Simplify / get organized / have a more balanced life

  • Not sure what’s missing

  • Feel that something in your personality needs work. Over pleasing / perfectionism / shyness….

  • Change the attitude of your Inner Critic

 

What we all want

 

  • To set and reach goals, feeling accomplished

  • To feel good about and respect ourselves

  • Have other people love and respect us.

  •  

What we don’t want

 

  • To procrastinate (with diet, exercise, work, school, relationships, having that difficult conversation)

  • To feel angry, fearful, anxious, guilty or depressed

  • To make excuses

  • To not know how to do something

  • To not have support

  •      

I define success as having a sense of sustainable well-being through the development and maintenance of meaning in ones’ life gained through proper accomplishments that benefit all involved and the planet on which we live.

 

  • You want to be successful

  • Success isn’t guaranteed

  • It doesn’t matter what you want

  • It matters how hard you are willing to work for what you want

  • Even if you are willing to work hard,   that’s not enough.  Without the proper knowledge and skills acquired in the proper order success is difficult

 

Success depends on:

 

  • How you deal with other people

  • How you deal with yourself

  • How you deal with what others say about you and to you,  how do you handle disagreement, opposing opinions judgements 

  • How you deal with what you say about yourself, confusion within yourself, mistakes and failure  coping with your inner critic

  • How hard you are willing to work

  • How open you are to learning

 

THERE ARE FIVE REQUIREMENTS FOR CHANGE / IMPROVEMENT 

  • RECOGNIZE the need for improvement. You want to discover your strengths and your weaknesses (everyone needs to improve)

  • WANT to change. You want to work hard at bettering yourself. Curious to learn. You can relinquish ego barriers to learning. You can be wrong.(Acknowledge your short comings, manage emotions, humility)

  • BELIEVE you can change.

  • Have a METHOD

  • Have SUPPORT

 

  • You need to do the first two, recognize and want to improve 

  • The book and program can help a little with three, belief

  • Where the book and program shines is with method and support

                                                                    

 

How The Program Works

 

     This book and program is based in the current science of success and well-being and presents a simple concise knowledge and methodology for improving the skills that allow success and well-being. The book requires three months to complete. With 12 sections one topic per week with one review per week.  The first hour per week is for introduction of the particular topic and methods for practicing the skill for that week. The second hour per week is for review and discussion. Each week we broach a new topic. The book provides information for discussion, questions to be asked, and creates an atmosphere that encourages and rewards asking and answering questions.  Upon completion each person or family receives a well-deserved certificate of completion, a Calendar with pictures of their choosing, that outlines all the activities in the program in a simple easy to follow format  and follow up support with a monthly newsletter and connection through the web site with others that have completed the book

 

 

What the program will not be     

 

  • Easy. This is not an instant rewards or fast results program. This programs is not for lazy people.

  • I am the ‘not yes man’ I will not endorse excuses or a lack of effort. I will not agree with you or coddle you, I am tough but fair and supportive

  • No shortcuts, No quick fixes BECAUSE  “Quick fixes unfix quickly”  Short term fixes can be long term liabilities …quick fixes reinforce the short term habit mind set

  • Entertainment. You will not be entertained as in distracted from the issues you need to improve

  • I am not offerring marketing hype,

  • No first caller discounts,

  • No call me now or in the next ten minutes for a special offer.

  • No free gift for joining the program

  • No hook dangled to lure you in. Your life is the lure.

 

What the program will be

 

  • Challenging and difficult at times.

  • Accountable. We all need to be accountable

  • Goal orientated. We live in a society where long term goals are not really long enough.

  • Extremely Rewarding

  • Wonderfully Satisfying

  • Add value to your life and the life of those around you

 

What will I guarantee?

 

  • I guarantee the hardest look you have ever taken at yourself.

  • You will improve your ability to improve yourself and your family

 

The Benefits of Investing in The Program

 

 

  • Increased and better Goal Setting

  • Better recognition and control of emotions

  • Increase in self-confidence and self-esteem

  • Increased motivation 

  • Greater caring and empathy

  • More social engagement, Better at establishing positive relationships

  • Better health

  • More optimism

  • Less outward aggressive behavior or inward aggression with depression and anxiety

  • Better at handling challenging situation, coping

  • Less stress and greater understanding and resolution of emotional distress, better problem and resolution skills.

  • Reduce negative outcomes, reduces chances of drug and alcohol use, violence and delinquency

  • Children that learn to be emotionally mature at grade school age have 20% lower rate of violence and 40% lower drugs and alcohol use at 18 years of age.

  • Better at making responsible choices

  • Greater success and well-being

 

                                                                                  

So why don’t people get involved in family or individual development programs  

                  

  • Primarily because there are few programs like this. It’s not a mainstream concept, People don’t recognize the need to improve these specific skills formally and intentionally

  • Lazy, Some people don’t want to go through the struggle to improve

  • Ego and pride

  • Human nature, waits for crisis before acting

  • Stuck in excuses. Recognize the need to improve but say they will do it tomorrow. Common behavioral pattern.

  • Some people recognize and want to better themselves but don’t know how or want some help.

      These are the people I am Interested in.

 

 

                                                                                  

 Why books and programs fail

                

 There are many self-improvement programs out there. (Self-help, personality development, seminars, weight loss, success programs,  etc.) Most people that take them fail to achieve the desired results for a few reasons.

 

  • The results promised are allotted insufficient time to allow change and new habit formation. Habits take an average of 66 days to form. Therefore programs need to allow this amount of time minimally with a high degree of accountability in the form of action and review. (Even then the level of underlying motivation, and focus can affect the degree of habit formation)

  • They receive insufficient or incorrect knowledge, support or means to practice skills.

  • The people that offer the program fail to recognize those that are not ready for the program and offer it to them anyway.  Or they allow people to skip steps prior to real understanding and skill development for the sake of completing the program.

 

 

 

Avoiding improvement, excuses

 

  • Many people only manage their life. They go along to get along, not ready to confront themselves.  People are smart they manage their issues and insecurities by creating and blending into an environment that conceals their baggage, habits, and emotions surrounding themselves with people who support them and make them feel safe and comfortable. They engage in activities that reflect their strengths helping them mask or lessen the effects of their weaknesses. This mode or managing reinforces who they are, even though they don't want to be who they are. This method of managing interferes with  the achievement of goals and discourages change.

  • Don’t have the time

  • It’s not my fault therefore there is nothing I can do about it

  • No clear  goals or failure to understand and set short and long term goals properly        

  • A lack of support

  • Don’t believe change is possible

  • Don’t know how to move forward. Don’t have a method for establishing and practicing new skills

  • Feel embarrassed, insecure, low self esteem

 

Avoid aspects of your life that need improving and eventually you will slow down or block your progress  

 

 

 

© 2012-2017 by LOUIS F SCOTTI

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